NOBODY ELSE GETS TO NAME THEIR KID CALVIN I HAVE DIBS'D THIS IF YOU TAKE IT I WILL FIND YOU AND...GLARE ANGRILY

Mike: my life is like my imaginary child
Mike: Calvin
Mike: only I get to make fun of Calvin
Mike: He loves that tiger
Mike: but you shut up about it
Sarah: :)
Mike: I hope he's blonde
Mike: but that will literally never happen
Mike: unless my wife is cheating on me
Sarah: it could happen when they're little
Sarah: it would be like a one in a bajillion chance
Mike: my family has no blonde anywhere in it
Mike: at all
Mike: and blonde is the weakest of hair colors
Mike: it trembles before my mighty dark hair
Sarah: lol lots of whasians have light brown hair
Mike: yeah but the hair pecking order is
Mike: black > brown > blonde
Mike: I'm actually not sure where red is
Sarah: red is farther up than blonde
Sarah: so black, brown, blonde, red
Sarah: red is like a mutation of blonde i believe
Mike: REGARDLESS
Mike: not happening
Mike: I'll just have to settle for the tiger, the stripey red and black shirt and black shorts
Mike: man I feel bad for my children
Mike: this is their lives
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Anonymous asked: Don't pick Tottenham. They suck. And for god's sake stay away from Chelsea. We don't need anymore stupid fans. How about you pick a team based on their players and how they play? If you're going to get into football please do it for the right reasons.

I was told not to pick based on players/managers since that can all change pretty quickly and if I didn’t choose a team for reasons other than that, I might not like the team at all after that. Otherwise Everton (Howard) or Fulham (Dempsey) would be obvious and easy choices as an American. 

Also, I didn’t realize there was a right or wrong way to get into something. My big thing is that I would like to get into soccer because I had a lot of fun watching the US in the World Cup, but my interest totally fell off after we were eliminated since I have no team. Having something at stake and a vested interest would probably help.

And no, I’m not picking an MLS team. I don’t have a favorite Arena Football team or Minor League Baseball team. Although if I did pick an MLS team the answer is easy (Chicago obviously).

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A Series of Theories: Help me pick an EPL Team part 2!

r-vee-p:

chaoshat:

Okay, so I was TOTALLY going to pick Arsenal. I was this close. A bunch of people on Tumblr encouraged me to pick them and so I was feeling really good about it.

And then I found out one of my good friends picked Arsenal. And you know what’s more fun than liking the same team as your friend?…

- Tottenham isn’t as good from what I’ve read so I’ll commonly be on the losing end of this rivalry.’

yes precisely

Oh dear me old chap, you really are going about this the wrong way - i find it is best to let the team choose you than try to force yourself to like a team based upon reasons such as the ones you have given. 

Well in that event, it seems like I should definitely pick Chelsea since Tottenham wasn’t on my radar at all until I decided to pick something contrary to my friend’s team.

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Help me pick an EPL Team part 2!

Okay, so I was TOTALLY going to pick Arsenal. I was this close. A bunch of people on Tumblr encouraged me to pick them and so I was feeling really good about it.

And then I found out one of my good friends picked Arsenal. And you know what’s more fun than liking the same team as your friend? Having a rivalry where you can talk epic amounts of shit together while you get trashed. So that did it in for Arsenal. 

A little bit of google fu told me that Arsenal has two chief rivals. Chelsea and Tottenham. Those of you who read the first part will know that Chelsea was already on my short list. So I would say I am 75% towards Chelsea right now. 

However, there is that part of me that likes indie music an the ability to say “I liked things before they were cool” (I mean, why else as an American would I be interested in the EPL?). So, let’s hear it Tottenham folks. Why should I be a Spur?

Things that I like/dislike about Tottenham:

+ “Tottenham Hotspurs” just kind of sounds cool.

- As an American, I’m not too keen on trying to explain to people that there is another team called the Spurs. 

+ Their Arsenal rivalry is more strong than Chelsea’s which means more epic trash talk.

- Tottenham isn’t as good from what I’ve read so I’ll commonly be on the losing end of this rivalry.

- While Tottenham is good, they’ve never won the Premier league and it’s been a long time since they’ve been relevant in the UEFA cup.

+ Tottenham appears to be on the uptick and getting better and it would be cool to be a fan if they win the EPL here soon. Also, while they’ve apparently never been the best team, they’ve also never been relegated. They are also less bandwagony than Chelsea.

- I dislike the Tottenham colors relative to Chelsea. Yeah it’s a superficial thing to care about but hey, why not.

So, soccer/football people. Convince me!

Help me pick an EPL Team?

I need help! Doing some research I’m leaning towards Arsenal right now since they’re non terrible, consistently in the mix, and don’t seem overly bandwagony. They also have a Korean on there which ain’t half bad. 

Other teams I’m thinking about are Newcastle, but I’m worried about instability of ownership and the fact that very few EPL teams are successful consistently aside from the top six or so teams. Also their base uniform is pretty meh.

I also like Chelsea for their colors and logo, the name is also cool as is the London locale, but they totally just won the UEFA and that’s probably way too bandwagony a pick.

I’m also considering Liverpool, Everton, or Fulham but for whatever reason they don’t appeal as much as the other three. 

So someone help me decide! Pretty much looking at one of these six, mostly the top three. I am crowdsourcing some of this decision!

Some thoughts on Diablo 3.

Diablo 3 is definitely, in many many ways better than the games before it. Don’t get me wrong on that. I love the skills and the new skill system. The auction house is great, the updated graphics are fine. I don’t care about the story at all so I don’t have complaints about that. If I had to sum my complaints with this game: 

1) There are few reasons to get excited about loot, especially legendaries. Legendaries should be more fantastic and awesome than they are. I think items are missing a lot of non damage stats that make them interesting. There’s no “Chance to cast amplify magic level blah on target on hit” or “+ to skills” (obviously due to the new system) that make the items feel like more than just damage damage damage. Sometimes you would find a drop that would make you roll a new character and that was part of the charm of the game. Finding Bartuc’s claw on your Sorceress or getting Lycander’s Aim on a necromancer. You knew then that you were leveling the character just for that item. Now since everyone can use every item pretty freely (I mean, there’s no str requirement for my wizard to use 2h maces or something) and all the damage stats are generic it really doesn’t matter. It feels like (aside from the class specific weapons) there are very few things FOR a specific class. The ridiculous dps 2h sword is just as good for my wizard as it is a barbarian so why bother? 

I think we can see where Blizzard kind of misses the point. The best part of being able to respec is to avoid a situation in Diablo where you level a Frozen Orb Sorc or an Axes Barb and you find an item with +fire skills or a sweet sword. Then you had to reroll a new character of the exact same type just to use that. If only you could respec. Now you can respec, but there is no reason to ever need to. There’s no weapon for my wizard that makes me go “Oh shit that would make this spec much better.” Using swords, bows, wands, whatever is all acceptable on my wizard and there is nothing that matters on the weapon beyond “what is the dps, and does it have my damage stat and vitality?”

I think this is fixable by making skills modifiable by items. All of your skills should have types. For example, Blizzard should be “AoE, Cold, DoT.” And then you can find a Wand that says “Increases the area of all of your AoEs by 15%.” That would give you a reason to build around an item and try new combinations. 

2) This game makes you feel powerful and then takes it away. You go from demolishing hordes of enemies as a weak wizard who knows a few spells to a mighty wizard who has an entire arcane spellbook at your disposal and instead somehow you’re relatively weaker than you were. At the core, Diablo is a game about murdering a ton of things for sweet loot and finding the big bad demon at the end of the dungeon and murdering him for the loots. I think it’s great that they gave you incentives to clear the entire dungeons instead of rushing through to the bosses, but the name of the game is Diablo 3, not Molten Vortex Jailer Shielding 3. My goal and the ultimate challenge should be killing the biggest and baddest thing in the game and destroying him. Not farming the trash mobs. I think it’s bad when someone has beaten Diablo in inferno and people say “Oh well he didn’t REALLY beat the game, the hard part of the game is actually just the generic mobs sitting outside Diablo’s lair.”

Why not keep Nephalem Valor but use it to encourage players to clear a dungeon and then go fight the boss instead of just straight up rushing to the boss? Wouldn’t that be an acceptable alternative to the boss rushing that was apparently so bad? People never farmed WoW dungeons for the trash mobs. 

The issue is I don’t think a gameplay model where you skip all the mobs who are very difficult to get to the boss who is not so difficult so you can progress to the next act so you can try to get gear that will let you farm the act beforehand is intuitive, fun, or really has anything redeemable. The way that most people would think makes sense would be to farm either the bosses from the act before or the trash mobs of the current act to get the gear that would allow them to beat the end boss of the current act who stands there to say “If you can’t beat me you’re totally not ready for even the trash that comes after me.”

I don’t think it’s right that as I become more powerful, I’m even less capable. The game should be me defending against an unrelenting horde of demons who try to overwhelm me by coming faster than I can kill them with a few scattered champions (not champion PACKS) that pose a real challenge among the trash.

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BBTimeless: League of Legends Ranked

bbtimeless:

You hear about it in every forum, dozens of times on Tumblr, and even Facebook users complain about this mystical place called “ELO Hell”. I, like many people, simply brushed these claims aside. Recently, however, with so many people talking about it I am beginning to think there might be…

There is no such thing as ELO hell. You’re talking about getting back to the starting point or that you should steadily be treadmilling your way out of your ELO. This is incorrect. Instead, think of it like SC2. Say you get lucky and win a ton of placements and get into gold, but skill wise you’re really a bronze or silver player. You’ll eventually drop that low, and then unless you get better at the game, you’ll stay there FOREVER. If you win a majority of your games, but keep losing to gold level players, you’ll stay in silver. The goal is to get you to a point where the matches are fair and you have a 50/50 chance of winning.

“But Hat! How can I win when the people are ragers/feeders/leavers/etc?” Well, assuming all things are equal and you are not a rager/feeder/leaver/etc that means it’s simply more likely that the other team is more likely to have an undesireable human on their team. If you are not one, your team only has four chances to draw someone lame. The other team has five chances. With odds like that, if you are legitimately better than your ELO, you will, over time and in the long run, rise out of your ELO. 

There is no ELO hell. 

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Reporting

bbtimeless:

I will very rarely report for playing poorly or having a bad game. But, being a dick? Every time.

You know this makes you a hypocrite right? =P
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Stabilized Thermal Lance: Why Dyrus's "apology" means jack shit

rilgon:

Everyone is flailing and showering Dyrus with praise about this “apology” that he made at IPL when being interviewed after TeamShitheadMid’s win at IPL4. People are talking about how “brave” it was and other ridiculous crap.

Let’s get one thing out here right now: Doing the right thing is not…

I’d actually like to take a page out of the “let’s settle down a little bit” book. I never understood why people got that upset over language and phrasing when it’s clearly the intent of the words that matters, and not the dictionary definition. 

If Dyrus had said “I got killed in lane,” would that somehow be better? Getting killed is worse right? Is that insulting to all of the people who got murdered? What about “beaten” or “screwed” or “destroyed” or any number of words he could have used to describe it? 

Words have lots of meanings based on context and intent. Clearly Dyrus wasn’t talking about being forced into sex. Should he probably use nicer words? Yeah. Does the internet need to get outraged over this? Not really.

Whether we like it or not, these words have been co-opted by the internet community to describe something different than the original meaning. Somewhat how “gay” is used synonymously with “lame.” I really don’t like that usage of the word, but it’s a thing now. Words evolve. They pick up new meanings and lose old ones.

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If I were a pokemon trainer...

This is how it would work.
-YOUNGSTER JOEY WANTS TO FIGHT!-
Youngster Joey: -Sends out Rattata!-
BBTimeless: -Sends out Pikachu-
BBTimeless: Pikachu! IGNORE RATTATA AND ATTACK YOUNGSTER JOEY! THUNDERSHOCK!
-Youngster Joey was Defeated-
-BBTimeless gains $65, sent some to mom!-
Brian Breeden is a joke thief.
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